tedJohnston's movie Reviews on Newgrounds

[TANKMEN 2]

Great, but ...

Everything's great except the voice acting. It sounds like you're constantly out of breath, or trying to suppress your voice or something ... It doesn't sound natural. That's just about the only thing that needs improvement in this series. The animation is great, the scripting is great, the story and everything else is great.

Good job, and congrats on another successful installment of TANKMEN.

[Just Like A Video Game]

nice

hmm ... i never realized my little mix would make such a good credits theme, hahaha. i really enjoyed your flash, and your drawing style is very nice. keep it up.

Butzbo responds:

Thanks, and yeah, i needed something that clearly was representing the concept of "Videogame", so an oldschool nintendo remix was perfect!

[TANKMEN]

Oh God ...

"Hey guys, I just heard! I'm gonna be a dad!"

Oh sad ... hahaha. Great job.

[Tomorrow's Nobodies Ep.5]

Pretty good, but ...

This series is great, but there were just a couple things I didn't like. Most of this stuff is preference anyways, so feel free to give or take any of it.

First, voices. You guys should really gets some friends to help you with the voice acting, because all you can hear is you guys. I mean, every character, it was obvious that it was one of you. I'm sure it's not too hard to get a couple local friends to help you out, right?

Second, graphics (this one is PURELY preference). I know models and tweening is faster, but when you guys did that one Pacman FBF, the graphics kicked ass! It would be amazing to see a whole TN episode done in FBF ... but again, just preference.

Third, the jokes were quite as funny in this one, and the whole video ending wasn't as funny as it could have been. But again, humor is greatly based on preference, so take it with a grain of salt - I'm just telling you what I thought.

So basically, for those three things, I gave you 8's on Graphics, Sound, and Humor.

Overall, this series is going great ... it just seemed that this episode paled a little in comparison to the last couple. But keep it up! It's getting better for the most part. Great job.

[Engineered]

Well thought out.

Very good. There were lots of subtleties in there that you usually don't find in most Newgrounds cartoons that I really enjoyed. Particularly, I like what you did with the father to make him even more disgusting/hateable; giving the thumbs up when the wife looks to him for some kind of assurance, him shuddering and grabbing for his crotch at the sight of the needle. The sex scene/abuse flashes also worked well with the pregnancy test scene, and I liked the calendar/clock - very abstract in a cool kind of way. Overall, it's the great attention to detail that really made this a masterpiece. Good job.

[The Promise of Home]

Very good.

Damned Japan and their Imperialism. The stupid American Western world thinks Japan is so cool, and they wonder why the rest of Asia hates Japan so much. Well watch this and open up your eyes you idiots.

Japan is still very Imperialistic at heart; they never even apologized for their war atrocities! Asia will never be able to forgive Japan for what it did. I hope the U.S. keeps their troops in Japan forever. If the U.S. takes its eye off Japan for even a second, you know that they'll just try to take over the world again; they still hold onto their samurai traditions; Imperialism is in their blood.

Keep U.S. soldiers in Japan!

[Blockhead: Episode 5]

Uh huh . . .

I'm responding to your over-reaction to my sarcastic review of Episode 6.

You can't take a little humor? After all, your cartoon is SUPPOSED to be humorous. A reviewer gets bored (and a little ticked off) when an author doesn't respond to his review, yet claims to have read it, and even further claims that it was a "helpful" review, but then submits a submission following right after that has the very same problems.

"Constructive criticism" is meant to show an author what he/she could have done differently to have made his/her submission a little better, so that the same mistakes will not be repeated. Likewise, when the same mistakes ARE repeated, reviews find no need to repeat themselves.

The reason my sarcasm was so biting was because I am a musical artist also. I remember when I first composed on MIDI back in the day, like you are doing now . . . but times have changed my man. 90% of your reviewers seem to like your series, and maybe MIDI works for their 13 year-old ears . . . but to the a-little-more-than-average observer, hearing MIDI truly gives the piece a rather unprofessional flair. Your viewers get the impression of you being cheap, uneducated, or worse, ignorant. I gurantee you, those few reviewers who didn't like your work were thinking the exact same thing. I know your intentions are good, but the medium you are using is terrible.

Look, I don't have anything personal against you . . . I just don't think this cartoon series measures up to most of the other 4+ rated stuff here on Newgrounds. I really don't understand where your huge fanbase comes from, but they must really not know their stuff.

You're not required to listen to anything I say. I just challenge you to stop trying to impress people with MIDI music and overbuffed humor. Like I said in my review of Time Squad, you try too hard. I'm not looking for anyone's respect when I review submissions. I'm entitled to my own opinion and so are you. My review of Episode 6 wasn't me being silly or stupid, it was sarcastic for a reason.

I mean think of it this way: you can't please everyone, but if even one person doesn't like your work, then you have places where you can improve, right? What do you have to lose?

Well that's all the writing I can muster up at this hour. You can hate me, or you can think about what I said and maybe try a few things (or you can do both). Good luck with whatever you do in the future . . . and maybe I'll reappear for a Blockhead 7 or Time Squad 2 review. I really don't want to write something negative again, 'cause I know you're capable of so much more.

Regards.

The-Swain responds:

I had a heftier response written, but I distractedly closed the window. Here's version 2.

I'm glad I got to hear back from you in the intellectual capacity that I know you're capable of. I wasn't offended that you didn't like BH Ep.6, but I was appalled that someone with a history of careful reviews could stoop to childish sarcasm. In fact, there wasn't even a message in your previous "review". It was a simple and belligerent attack, not what you call constructive criticism, and for what? Because I didn't heed your advice for Time Squad?

You had a problem with four things in TS: font, music, humor, and story. One of those four things, humor, was constant for Ep.6, but what was your suggested remedy? That I cut it down by half. Come on...do you really think Blockhead should be removed from his own series? Or this cartoon should become serious? Not once did I believe that you meant any of that about Ep.6 (as it was a Time Squad review), so how on earth was I repeating the same mistakes?

The only MIDI in the Blockhead series is the theme song, which is merely some chiming bell. If that's what got you to leave a sarcastic non-review for Ep.6, then heck, what could I possibly say here?

As for MIDI in general, I want all things Blockhead to belong to me. I will not use other people's work at any level because I want the series to be purely and wholly mine. For TS Part 2 I am going to be exploring a new form of music, one that operates like MIDI but with WAVS instead of internal sounds, but I wasn't going to sack appropriateness and switch to Fruity Loops techno or something just to avoid MIDI. If the age you listed for yourself is accurate, then "Back in the day" is different for you than it is for me. MIDI is the father of the world of all synth music, and I grew up loving this. It may be beyond its time, but I felt it worked well in concert with the cheesy, cliched movie themes I picked for the piece. The day I have a full orchestra to use instead of MIDI will be the day I switch.

Speaking of movie themes, I thought I should express that I didn't take cliches from Newgrounds movies. I took them from Hollywood movies. In fact, I took as many trite themes from as many '80s movies as I could stomach. What was digested and born was Time Squad, the epitome of every good and bad '80s film I have ever watched.

Writing this response twice has eaten away at my time and I really gotta fly. But I'm glad you wrote this review to rectify the previous, and while I'm alright with not being able to please everyone, I do insist that I am trying to please those people who want to be pleased. If you're interested in enjoying Time Squad or the Blockhead series, then I know I can take your suggestions seriously. But I should warn you that the brand of humor probably isn't going to change because *I* am not going to change. The things that happen here are the things that make me laugh, and Time Squad especially was always supposed to be a comedy centered around Blockhead. If you're afraid of committing 12-13 minutes to Part 2, you may want to hold off.

[Action Figure Assination]

ASSination?

wow, learn to spell you moron. ASSination? try "assassination" dummy. this movie will get blammed, so I don't really need to say much more.

[Behind the Magic]

Interesting . . .

First off: Responding to every review? Impressive! That really shows dedication to your work as an animator . . . Sure, you may look like a complete loser who has nothing better to do with his time, but then again, this is the Internet. Who cares!? ^_-

I haven't been a part of the Newgrounds community long enough to know the whole roots of the Clock Crew, Lock Legion, Anti-Crew This, Anti-Crew That conflict, but I do know it exists. That being said, this is MUCH more productive than stupid 14 year olds posting "Kill Strawberry Clock" games or "Watch the King Strawberry Clock Give You A Seizure to Some Shitty Techno Music" that I could seriously draw up in MS Paint. Like someone said earlier, you are probably the smartest guy out of this whole bunch of Newgrounds fanatics.

Anywho, I'm going completely over my head about Newgrounds politics which I really have no authority to comment on in the first place, so I'll end. Good animation, smooth voice acting, and nice message. Looking forward to seeing more!

stoners-lunchbox responds:

Thanks! This is actually one of the smartest reviews i've heard in a while.

The funny thing is that most reviewers who comment without a right are not even that young. Some of them are 20 to 25 year olds who are talking the piss out of a 19 year old who just started his career as a flash artist. Funny, really. Most of them don't even make flash cartoons...

Anyway, thanks for the review and i hope to see more feedback from you next time i send in more work!

[Time Squad [Part 1]]

Eh . . .

"I'm going to do what I call a "compliment sandwhich", where I say something good, and then tell you where you can improve, and then end with something good!" hahaha, just kidding . . .

well . . . in short, the graphics look completely professional, but everything else about this Flash completely lets that down.

I'll start with the positives. the graphics are AWESOME. you very rarely see this kind of style on Newgrounds, and it's very refreshing when you do. sadly, the positives end right about there.

The negatives.

the story: well . . . it was okay. but the biggest problem was the SCRIPTING. the majority of the lines were unbearably cheesy and cliched. I know it's hard to do an action bit these days, but seriously, I'm positive I can take EVERY line from this Flash cartoon and find it on another Flash somewhere else on Newgrounds. it just wasn't working. if you can make your story as unique as your drawing, this would kick serious ass.

the comedy: okay . . . it just wasn't that funny. I know it's hard when your main character is the knucklehead-comedy-guy, but his lines followed the same pattern as everyone else's: it just looks like you're trying way too hard to make him funny. if you cut half the jokes and spent that time to refine the story and your other characters' lines, you'd have a much better Flash.

font: okay seriously . . . did you HAVE to use such a generic font? I seriously see this same font used on EVERY Newgrounds Flash that tries to be all serious, and tries to be another "Broken Saints" or something . . . it's overused. try something else that people won't be like, "hey, I used that font on my last Science project writeup!"

the music: grr . . . don't get me started on this one. MIDI!? please!!! I know you're trying to bring in your original musical works . . . but this is NOT the way to do it. the music sounds like it was made in a highschool music theory class. the quality of the music contrasts so sharply to the quality of the animation, that it just hurts. it's pretty much the equivalent of Jimi Hendrix going on stage with a little Casio toy guitar . . . just doesn't work. you would have been MUCH better off by using tracks off of some movie soundtracks, or better yet, asking a Newgrounds Audio Artist to make something for you.

that's right, I said NEWGROUNDS AUDIO ARTIST. go to the Newgrounds menu bar up top right now, and click on "Audio Portal". bet you didn't know that was there, eh? check out the "Classical" section, and you already have tons of material that you could have used. why does no one know about us Audio Artists!?

anyways, sorry for all the ranting . . . it just pains me to see such great animation be let down by some mediocre scripting and music. you really have what it takes to make some great Newgrounds animations, there are just alot of areas that need work.

well, nice try, nothing personal (I hope), and good luck in the future!

-tedJohnston